24 hours just never seem to be enough in this city, you know? Every minute, every day feels like you’re running just 10 minutes behind. The one bit I really agreed with this otherwise horrific movie on, was the tightly managed shuffle for space and time. There’s a Rahul (Sharman Joshi) in every Mumbaiker. Managing a social life is always a joke - other people’s or your own!

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Today I bumped across a blog called OLB Chronicles.

Oliver takes his mom and dad to go live in India for awhile. Dad works long hours and he, Oliver and mom try to learn how to survive in Mumbai, the craziest city in the world.

In the whole “world is a small place” vein…I have met Oliver’s parents and him at a birthday party in Brooklyn, last May. And our mutual friends introduced us and we did discuss about life in Bombay, since they were getting ready to move there. That conversation was the last of it, till I bump across their blog and see some familiar faces in the pics.

Check out the blog to get a perspective of our city from the eyes of a foreigner.

I am shopoholic! Shopping is therapeutic for me, and the best part is that after a shopping binge I dont regret my actions since I know that I have got the best deal I am Mumbaikar and hence I know were I can get what at the lowest possible rates. Like me every Mumbaikar loves to shop; kids, couple, college going teenagers, office goers every one like to keep updated with the latest fashion and trends. So it is not a surprise that we Mumbaikars are willing to go to the end of the world to purchase things at the most reasonable price one can ever find. Mumbaikars are bargain savvy and are always looking for the best deals they can lay hands on. Hence it is natural that Mumbai has hundreds of bazaars that cater to the Paisa vasool mentality of the population. I have lived in at least 5 cities in the 24 yrs of my life and Mumbai bazaars are the most unique and fascinating places I have come across. One of the reasons being that each bazaar has a history of its own and each specializes in selling particular goods. So Mumbaikars are well aware precisely which market they can get what. Before I go with the 7 best places to get a good shopping deal here are a few rules you must follow while shopping anywhere in Mumbai

Things to keep in mind while shopping Make sure you demand for a bill after every purchase (Not applicable when it comes to street side shopping)
Always bargain. You will almost never be told a reasonable price at the first go
Do not buy from the very first shop you enter/vendor. Visit as many shops/vendor as possible and buy where you get the best bargain
Try and be a regular customer for one or two shops, so that the shopkeepers know you and you get better discounts than others
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We Mumbaikars have learned to live with the zillions of obstacle we face due to over population and over pollution. We have learned to find ways around the particular obstacle and have adjusted our lifestyles to it. Probably this is one of the reasons the State government cares a rat’s ass to addressing public issues. One of the major problems every Mumbaikar has made his/her part of life is the traffic jam in the city.
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Firstly let me start by giving out the mandatory “thank you” speech. Melody….my partner in crime, you are a Rock Star, thanks for taking care of all the minor (and major) party issues while allowing me to sit back take all the luft.

Would also like to thank the management of Sejos for allowing us to twist their arms to the max so that we bloggers could get the most viable deal out of them. And last but not the least, a BIG thank you to all those who turned up (and a boo-hoo to those who couldn’t make it)….I had one heck of a time and am sure our bash would put all those Bollywoodish…Page 3 parties to shame.

Without any further a due, here are some “Kodak Moments”……

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Living in the city, one comes across corruption in everyday life. People who earns thousands of rupees a month shy away from paying a 500 Rs fine for an offence they committed. They bribe their way out. I count myself in the guilty too. However everytime we discuss corruption, we always blame the guys who take the money.

Lets take the cops for example. We all bribe our way out. And then we compare stories about how cops are so honest in the US and they never take bribes….blah blah….

However one needs to stop and look at the reasons the cops are forced to accept bribes.

We pay them peanuts.

These are some statistics I received in an email.

Here’s what our policemen earn:

• Police constable: Rs6,000-Rs8,000 with an increment of Rs75.
• Senior constable: Rs8,500-Rs10,000 with an increment of Rs100.
• Police hawaldar: Rs10200-12000 with an increment of Rs100
• Police sub-inspector: Rs15,000Rs16,000 with an increment of Rs175

The salary that an average private sector employee draws after three years into service is as much as that of an Assistant Commissioner of Police with an annual increment that is 20 times more.

Is that correct. These guys potentially go to work everyday risking their lives. And they get paid practically nothing.

Think about it.

As per a NYT article, out of work bar dancers, are now trying their hand at local elections. Surely will give the politicians a run for their money. Surely gives the phrase “in bed with the politicians” a completely new meaning !!

Out-of-job bar dancers in India’s financial hub of Mumbai said on Friday they would contest elections to the city council in a bid to overturn a ban on their popular nightspots that robbed them of their livelihood. Authorities in Maharashtra state, of which Mumbai is the capital, closed down hundreds of dance bars in 2005 saying they corrupted young men and bred crime and prostitution. The ban saw many of the estimated 75,000 bar girls go away to other states to find work and some reportedly turn to prostitution while many were left jobless.

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This is from Mid-Day Diary….but oh !! so apt.

And this is for the women who chat constantly with each other while working out on the treadmill. They discuss their social life, the classes they conduct, the movies they are to watch among other things.

While walking on the treadmill your pace should be comfortable enough to allow you to speak — but only just.

Long conversations about ma-in-law’s quirks or a recently cooked dish that everybody loved, interspersed with giggles, exclamations, explanations and questions are certainly not okay. All this just proves too that you are not working out hard enough.

Women (and we say that because most women tend to do this) talking over another person’s head while on the treadmill are also irritating with a capital ‘I’.

Then, there are inane cellphone conversations on the treadmill that are enough to raise hackles and tempers alike. In fact, talking while exercising is bad for a scientific reason too. It is quite energy-depleting, sending the breathing rhythm that sets in during exercise awry. The only thing that should be flying, instead of all this conversation, is the sweat off your brow.

Two friends - Bombaywallah & Mumbaikar - discuss whether the bomb blasts in Malegaon on Friday are linked to the Bombay train blasts.

Mumbaikar: There was a bomb blast in Malegaon yesterday. The bombs were rigged to bicycles near a burial ground, where Muslims had aggregated for the festival of Shab-e-Baraat. 37 people are dead and 200 injured so far.

Bombaywallah: That’s really sad. Where is Malegaon?

Mumbaikar: Malegaon is a Muslim dominated town near Nasik, 160 km north of Mumbai, known for its communal tension.

Bombaywallah: Ah! I have been thinking of visiting the vineyards at Nasik. But you have relatives in Nasik, don’t you? Is everything OK in Nasik? Is everything OK in Bombay?

Mumbaikar: Yes, things seem to be under control. The government has put the entire state on high alert. They imposed a curfew in Malegaon yesterday, but have lifted in today. In Mumbai, there were rumors of rioting in Mahim last night, but the police have been deployed on the streets and no significant disturbances have happened. Also, Muslim religious leaders have urged people to maintain calm and communal harmony.

Bombaywallah: It’s obvious, isn’t it, that the blasts have been masterminded to increase the communal divide, especially since they have happened so soon after the Bombay train blasts. I’m happy, though, that everybody has behaved sensibly so far.

Mumbaikar: I’m keeping my fingers crossed, if you ask me.

I overheard them outside the domestic airport, as Mumbaikar picked up Bombaywallah from the arrival terminal. I have never seen them so subdued, these two.

For more details see: India Uncut, Sepia Mutiny (here & here), Desicritics, BBC (here and here), Yahoo (here and here) and Rediff (here and here).

Read the other entries in the series here: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9).
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Two friends - Bombaywallah & Mumbaikar - discuss BMC’s claim that 42,914 potholes have already been filled after the rains, and only 133 remain (TOI).

Mumbaikar: The BMC claims that, by the September 1 high court deadline for making Mumbai pothole-free, they have filled all but 133 potholes in the city.

Bombaywallah: And how many have they filled? 13?

Mumbaikar: Actually, they claim that they have filled almost 43,000.

Bombaywallah: Ever since independence?

Mumbaikar: No, baba! After the rains.

Bombaywallah: So, they are saying that they have completed more than 99% of the work! And what did the high court say?

Mumbaikar: The high court told them that more hard work was needed and gave them another week to finish off the remaining work.

My car was stuck just next to theirs in an interminable traffic jam a few kilometers before the Express Highway to Pune. After a few minutes of stoic silence, just as I finished my cigarette and rolled up my car window, I overheard them again.

Mumbaikar: But this isn’t really Mumbai, you know, and maybe, they are starting from the city centre and moving out. Maybe these are the last hundred odd potholes left in Mumbai.

Bombaywallah: Or maybe, since there is no road here, only potholes, they have counted this entire stretch as one Absolut Pothole.

Read the other entries in the series here: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8).