So I find myself sauntering down a road that was probably desiged to be a nice, quiet side-street with colony gates opening into it but has metamorphosed instead. The road has grown up and now sees hourly traffic snarls, cars and cabs zooming and vrooming up and down and a bright neon multiplex thrusting itself in between the faded painted hoardings that came up about fifteen years ago (when the road was oh, about in its teens).

It’s scorching hot after a week of grey skies and incessant rain. Great, I left my sunglasses behind and carried my extra-heavy-duty rain protection gear instead, that’s making my otherwise ubercool bag bulge like a pillow. No matter I tell myself, in Matunga, nobody will mind.

No taxiwalla is willing to ferry me to the station and my stomach is starting to make itself (or its emptiness) felt so I pause, mid-traffic to think. If I were in Dadar, I’d pop in to sample some no-frills delicious Mahrashtrian cuisine. I spend a peaceful few seconds thinking about kokum sharbat, patra, shrikhand-puri and masale bath. The honking behind me jolts me out of my reverie so I rush on. Bandra and I would have stepped into any of the cafes, restaurants and hangouts I know so well. Town has its own delights. Even if Tea Center has ceased to function, there’s always Samrat where I’ve enjoyed many a solo lunch with the waiters dancing attendance. Yes, I know, I know that Gujjus don’t consider Samrat fare as ‘good food’ but like I said, one makes do with what one has.

My gastronomical soliloquy has carried me comfortably down the entire stretch and I’m almost near the station. I sense an Udipi close by and I walk in. Did I say ’sense’ it? Yes, when one is hungry, one’s senses are much heightened and besides can any Mumbaiker miss the Shetty-style maroon/navy blue uniform-clad water boys, cleaners and waiters? I’m in Udipi land alright. Except…I’m most surprised to find the place almost deserted. An Udipi at lunchtime deserted? Besides I’m fairly certain I’ve been to this one before and it has reasonably nice food. Nonplussed I drift to one of the empty seats, taking in the darkness in the nether sections and waiters in huddles. One of them directs me to the inevitable ‘A.C.Room’ upstairs. I trudge upstairs only to find one single waiter and one sole customer both looking at me very curiously. So I back out, my customary confidence vaporizing and other senses taking over (”Yikes!”) and decide to sit downstairs.

The man at the cash register a few feet away whispers loudly to one of the water-boys to…

Remove ash-tray!

Funny, I’ve never seen an ash-tray in an Udipi before. But the water-boy shows up and I forget all, savouring the cool water in a way only someone who has walked down a road on a hot day can. I run my gaze down the menu. Chicken items, Mutton items, Egg curries, Fish dishes, Snacks (yes, they spell it right!) and beverages. Uh….in an Udipi? Of course I know that the Shetty clan are as carnivorous as the next guy and enjoy their fish and meat. But you’ll never find even the smell of one of them in an Udipi. And ummm, has anyone in Matunga heard of meat?

Tentatively I ask,

This used to be a vegetarian restaurant?

The waiter shakes his head and then comprehension dawning late says,

No, this is a bar. Our veg restaurant is across the road.

YIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKES!!!!!!!!!!

So, of course, I beat a hasty retreat. If you need to ask….well forget it, don’t even ask.

Across the road I wonder if the glass of water I had, tasted any different from a restaurant. What if they had spiked it? Someone spiked my Breezer with beer once! I shudder off all those annoying senses that are surrounding me and tell myself firmly that

I would know if someone spiked my drink. And what’s a little beer going to do to a rum drinker?

In the vegetarian restaurant (which, I note is bustling with activity, much to my relief) I sink into a chair right near the entrance. Two minutes later the menu still hasn’t been arrived and I haven’t even been given a glass of water (not that I’d need another one after that beer-spiked glass I downed not five minutes back). So I scowl in impatience and move to a better location. Right near the mirrored walls, on the sofa side where I have a view of cashier, water boys, waiters, wash-basin and the door to the kitchen.

What I need is a good thali. Nothing like simple pseudo-home fare to calm the (beer-spiked) nerves. The shiny steel platter arrives in exactly the time it takes me to walk to the wash-basin and come back. Three soft and thin chappatis (I hate those doughy, chewy parathas or ‘parotas’ as the southie restaurants call them) surrounded by round katoris all along the rim. The curd is set in the katori and I break the smooth surface to test it. I note that the cream is just thick enough to bend a little before breaking but light enough to not crumple. Next, the crucial taste test. Hmm….lovely! The proof of the Udipi is in the curd-eating.

One after the other, I sample each katori, deciding which ones I like and which I don’t and can be evacuated from the plate. So out goes palak gravy (*sob* but gastroentitis was enough to throw me off my favorite green veggie in the monsoons…even if today is an uncharacteristically sunny day!). The beetroot-bhaji follows suit. I never got used to that evil thing. Lovely colour, horrendous taste. No wonder they say it’s good for the blood, it tastes like blood too! The sambar-ey thing joins them (who ever heard of sambar with chappati?). So I’m left with aloo-bhaji, brinjals in a coconut-ey orange gravy, payasam (kheer), a watery brown thing that I always decide I will try but never do and the curd. I line up all the remaining katoris to the frontlines, place the mini-papad in the conclave they form and open and re-fold the three chappatis seperately. Ready to begin!

The first morsel is dunked into payasam and disappointingly yields nothing more than two dripping fingers. So I beckon to a passing waiter and ask him,

Did you just dump the liquid in? There’s no payasam here!!!

He looks ready to argue but is pulled off by his colleague who tells him to replace it. In a blink I have another fresh katori, hot this time and filled half with soft rice. Damn and I was hoping it would be semiya-payasam. Don’t tell my mum since I feign a dislike for payasam but I love the feel of a not-too-watery, not-too-sugary semiya-payasam within a chappati. Rice will do just as well so I attack tuck in. My fresh lime soda arrives in the ubiquitous beer-mug (beer again!) with a straw in it which falls off the minute it is set on the table.

Mid-way, I’m interrupted by people standing next to my seat. Ah, the next occupants standing so as to ‘grab the seat’. But they sit down instead. And I’m mighty surprised. This is two men, the sort that I’d walk past quickly on the road anticipating their stares following me down the road. But they don’t of course. This is Mumbai at lunch-hour and the rules are different. A person eating alone and sitting in a table meant for 4 (tightly squeezed) has effectively stated that they are fine with company. Company does not speak or look. The rules of the shared table are much the same as in a closed elevator. No eye-contact and hold your breath till its over. One of them steals a glance at my almost empty katoris and I retract my uncharitable thoughts on staring. Hunger speaks across languages.

Meal done, I speed up the finishing bits and ask for the bill (yes, not ‘the cheque’). On my way out, I pause to buy a beeda. A bright green betel leaf wrapped around a mysterious something, topped with colourful dried coconut and finished with a clove through it. What Udipi meal is complete without one?

[link]

Sunday MiD DAY: When I am paying for my order, why do you refuse to deliver? Is it only because I live in a chawl?

Dominos at Colaba: Sorry sir, it’s our company policy.

Of course when the head honchos at Dominos corporate land are questioned, one gets the corpo-bullspeak that is only taught at MBA schools.

Chief Executive Officer of Domino’s Pizza India Ltd, Ajay Kaul told Sunday MiD DAY “We do not differentiate between our customers. All customers are equally important to us. It’s untrue that we don’t deliver to chawls as a policy.”

“Since we are a delivery company that offers a guarantee of delivery in “30 minutes or free”, we have certain policies that help us keep up with this promise to our customers. We deliver in a pre-defined delivery area, which excludes locations that take more than 10 minutes to locate and deliver”

Dominos and McDonalds, that sucks. Lets see you do that to an address in Bed-Stuy Brooklyn, NY.

Agreed, this is on a short notice but believe me life is not all about blogging and fun. So yeah, it’s actually a favor that Melody and I are doing for you folks. Now stop gawking, you know it’s the truth.

Okay…Okay, on a more serious note this time round we have decided to go with the Brunch Theme (yes, so very innovative) – slightly on the higher side entry fee wise but hey, nothing’s really cheap re these days.

The invite basically says it all – yup, will be super cool if you could make it. And please confirm with us if you are seriously going to make, it makes life a hell lot easier.

Ps…would be super duper cool if you could let others know about it via your own blog/s. Thanks and looking forward to meeting the bloggy bunch soon.

Previous blog meet gupshups can be found here.

The following is a list of Eats that are truly Mumbaikerish. Not to be mistaken with 7 Eating places which will follow in the week ahead.

1) Vada Pav

The poor man’s snack. Potato Patty pressed in the middle of bread with chutney/sauce. As simple as it can get. Bang for the buck. Perfect pick up and go food. Found at nearly every street corner. Bombay’s answer to the New York Hot Dog. Should be had piping hot at a roadside vendor only. Never eat in a restaurant…its a fake if its served in a restaurant

2) Bhel

Mix some rice puffs with sev, onions, potatoes, teekha and meetha chutney add some crushed poori’s and lo and behold you have the Bhel. World over its called Bombay Bhel, here is is just bhel. Its many cousins include Sev Puri, Dahi Batata Puri, Pani Puri et al. A perfectly sumptious vegetarian snack. Can never go wrong. Has to be had freshly mixed, preferably at the stall. Definitely tastes better at a roadside hawker than in a posh restaurant.

3) Sheekh Kebab

Perfectly skewered and grilled pieces of meat cut in small bite sized botis. Its various cousins include the longer sheekh kebabs, khiri, kaleji, gurda, and in some cases chicken too. Tastes best when fresh off the charcoal grill. Onions and nimbu sprinkled over with green chutney makes it a wonderful evening/night snack. Enhances the taste and experience of alcoholic drinks

4) Roadside Chinese

Hungry Eyes, Dragon of China, Hunan Emperor, China King, are just some of the flashier names of chinese tapris all over the cities. The food is cooked only when u order it and the speed at which it is cooked is a sight to behold. Not the tastiest of meals but then everything tastes good when it is hot. Sweet corn chicken soup and Half Manchurian rice are the prize winners though lollipops come a close second best.

5) Pav Bhaji

The one dish that had north Indian origins and was bastardized by the cooks of Bombay. Its now better than the original…whatever it was. A medley of veggies mixed with tomatoes have the shits beaten out of them. They are pulverized into a puree like texture and with spices make up an amazing meal. Has to be had with a slice of butter (diet be damned) and sliced onions and oil fried in butter. If your hands aint oily, you aint eating it correctly.

6) Mewad Ice Cream

There are the Naturels and the Gokuls of the city but nothing beats the simple taste of Mewad Ice Cream and Fruit Salad. Be it Anjeer Draksh, Badam Pista, or the full or half fruit salad with icecream, nothing ever tasted better. Still at Rs 5, it gives a fantastic value for money taste.

7) Pepsi Cola, Gola, Sherbet

Pepsi Cola here is not the coke rival I am talking about. Its the long thin tube of plastic containing frozen ice in different flavors. There are milk varieties too. It was staple food in my childhood and I dare say it still is. So is the ice golawala and the sherbet he makes. One has to try the tiranga….or the tricolor gola there and show their patriotism.

So now as your mouth is watering….what are your 7 favorite Mumbai Eats ?

So the Golden question is Is the Union Budget 2007-08 people friendly?

It might sound unbelievable but isn’t when you consider that Shivsagar has been stocking an entire range of Chateau Indage wines since December 2005. They’re also pretty happy about the fact that the dosa-wine combination is as hot as their steaming idlis among their patrons.
At Woodside Inn you can enjoy a wine and South Indian food combo. At Chetana, Kala Ghoda, wine is served with Gujarati and Rajasthani thalis. At Vitthal’s you can dig into spicy bhelpuri and ragda pattice with wine. Choughule however has more on his mind, “I think our wines can be had with Jafferbhai’s biryani too Read more

So this weekend almost at the eve of the new year you want to put together an unusal lunch for your loved one this seems like a out of the world idea.. Happy New Year!

Went out on Saturday night with some known friends and some newly acquaintances to India’s very first Hard Rock Cafe. Located in one of the old-ages estate, the Bombay Dyeing Mill Compound, South Mumbai side. This world famous joint was opened sometime in September this year but had closed down for couple of weeks due some legal issues. However the place is now open to the Mumbai public in full swing.

Melody (The Voice In My Head) who happens to be one of those “party-till-I-die kinda women” and who was also a BIG part of my outing that evening, has put up her views of the place along with some dark but visible pictures.

“The music is great, the crowd is decent & the ambience, well, it is a Hard Rock Cafe! There are all the necessary rock star paraphernalia that goes with the HRC name – the autographed guitars, the crazy outfits (I saw a nice one belonging to the artist formerly know as Prince), the photographs, the trivia. I love it, I love it, I love it. Yes, in case you didn’t get it, I really love it.”

Though I agree with the whole music and ambience bit, I still wouldn’t say that it’s THE place to be on a Saturday night. And No! It’s got nothing to do with the company I was hanging out with.

See, the thing is for me besides good music and ambience; I need good food and plenty of alcohol. So even though Mumbai’s Hard Rock Cafe flaunts about good music, decent crowd and spacious look - sadly, it totally sucks in service.

It took us an entire evening to get a table and if that was not worse, take this – as soon as we parked our already tired (but still sexy) butts, we were told, “Sorry the kitchen is closed for service”. WTF at 12.30 am!

And this is not it.

The entire time we were waiting at the bar area, we had to fight our way through a crowd of 30-40 odd people to get our drinks off the bar. Fuck this, there was also a time when we after much struggle managed to get the bar-tender’s attention we were told, “I can’t serve you because we have no glasses for the drinks”. Huh!!!

So by now you must have got the drift that I really think much of the place – I would have rather enjoyed at one of those smaller lounge bars and pubs in Bandra.

But as Melody mentioned, maybe the place would be a much better experience once the whole show-sha dies down.

The Final Word – Go there for the experience but do have back-up plans. And definitely not a Saturday night place.

Food is a way of life in Bombay and defines the city to a very large extent. Bombay food specialities are renowned the world over and have become gastronomic icons in their own rights.

The three unique food items listed below will gauranteed bring pangs of hunger to your stomach and saliva gushing in your mouth. Your brain cells will play food havoc, and you will need to eat a Vada Pav, some Bhel and Pav Bhaji.

Vada Pav is the poor man’s food. In its most fundamental sense it is an potato burger. But the very simplicity of the dish makes it so legendary. It is sold at roadside stalls all over the city. The best vada pav is had at the street side and not in some fancy restaurant. Trying to select the best vada pav stall in Bombay will create tension amongst friends and family. For me the favorite one is outside Hindu Colony. The size of the vada is big and comes with soft pav and amazing chutney. The most over hyped vada pav is (was??) the one outside Mithibai College. And the best kept secret is the vada pav stall at the corner of your street !!

Here is a good vada pav recipe.

Vada Pav on Wikipedia

Pav Bhaji rivals the vada pav in a truly Bambaiya flavour like no other dish. Not found as commonly on the street side, it is still nevertheless a complete Bombay creation.

Veggies and potatoes are mashed together literally on a flat metal tava and mixed with tomato puree and spices. It is served with oodles of butter on it and bread that has been pan fried in butter. With lemon and onions it will make your taste buds do the lambada.!!

As Wikipedia informs

The origin of this dish is traced to the heyday of the textile mills in Mumbai. The mill workers used to have a short break for lunch. A full lunch which was not rushed probably needed more time than what was available. A light lunch was also preferred given that physical work followed immediately. A vendor understood this and came up with this dish using items or parts of them available on the menu. The role of Indian bread or rice was taken up by pav and the curries that usually go with Indian bread or rice were amalgamated into just one spicy concoction-the ‘bhaji’. Thus was born– the celebrated pav-bhaji!

Initally, it remained as the food of the mill-workers. The dish was then patronized extensively by the upcoming Mumbai underworld. This resulted in the dish finding its way into restaurants and spreading over Central Mumbai and other areas. The pav bhaji was made famous by the various roles played by Bollywood heroes as pav bhaji vendors, notable amongst them being the one played by Sanjay Dutt in the movie Vaastav.

Here is a recipe to make Pav Bhaji

The most famous pav bhaji is just opposite my house at SARDAR. Nothing beats the pav bhaji there and the long line of cars late into the night is a true attestation of its lip-smacking taste.

Image copyrights

Bhel Puri completes the trio of Bombay Eats.

Bhelpuri at its very basic is

Puffed rice and sev, a fried snack made from besan flour, form the base of the bhel. Bhel puri is made from finely cut tomatoes, onions and chillies added to the base. Other versions of the snack include potatoes in a spicy onion base. Chutneys may be added to give it a sweet or spicy flavour. Sev, a chickpea based topping is sprinkled and garnished with coriander leaves and lime. It is then served with toasted puris, (a deep fried wheat bread). The result is a sour/pungent/sweet tasting evening snack.

Bhel puri is usually made with two different “chutneys” (Hindi for sauce) – one spicy chutney made of green chilli and the other sweet chutney made of dates or tamarind. Diced red onion, diced tomatoes, thin sev, cilantro leaves and peanuts are the other ingredients of the standard bhelpuri. Some add pomegranate seeds or diced raw mango for better taste. [link]

Bhel has become famous all over India and in many parts of the world for its simplicity in making it. It needs no cooking per se. And the ingredients are generally available everywhere.

All over the country it is called Bombay Bhel for obvious reasons. Bollywood has done its fair share to promote its image.

Some of the best bhel is available on the beaches of Bombay, namely Chowpatty and Juhu.

Its also famous at eateries like Swati Snack House and Badshah Cold Drink House.

Bhel outside Bombay never tastes the same. Taste is in the air and the water.

The Gorment Cartographer chronicles one my favorite Mumbai streets foods the “Breach Candy Grilled sandwich” (a.k.a the Grilled Veggie Sandwich).

Over to her,

This is the sandwich I always talk about. Vegetarian sandwiches in the US do not compare to this. It’s so buttery and crispy and filling (it’s a struggle to finish one). In past years, the sandwich has definitely been more tasty than when I had it last week (two days after I landed)… I think they changed the chutney making man

[Read More]

I would definitely agree the Bombaiya grilled sandwich takes the bite for a great and tasty vegetarian sandwich – nothing compares.